How can forget my lover

What's done is done. Coming to terms with this can be difficult — some people are deathly afraid of letting go. However, you can't truly move on with your life until you start thinking more about today than about when you were with the person you used to love. You may not be able to keep yourself from thinking about your old love for a while. However, as long as you focus on yourself and don't allow yourself to give in to depression and pessimism, you will eventually start to let go.

It will take longer to move on depending on how long your relationship lasted. Look forward to the future. At one point, it may have seemed like you would never be happy again. As time passes, this idea will start to seem less and less reasonable. The fact is that you can always look forward to a brighter future. There are always new people to meet, new experiences to seek out, and bright new days to look forward to.

Your happiness isn't determined by what happened in the past — it's determined by what you have in store for the future. Let your memories of this person gradually fade.

Time heals all wounds. Right after your breakup, it may seem like you can't go a minute without thinking about how badly you miss your ex. Slowly, however, over the weeks and months, these thoughts will become less common. Eventually, you will go an entire day without thinking unhappy thoughts about your ex.

You'll basically "forget" to be sad. When this happens, take it as a major accomplishment. You did it! The rest of your life awaits. You can hold memories of this person dear in your heart.

However, they shouldn't be something that interferes with your life. They should be a source of gentle tenderness and nostalgia — like thoughts of a beloved relative who has long since passed away. You cannot completely "get rid of their memories. Get busy, get out of the house, visit with friends, and don't get involved too quickly.

Not Helpful 30 Helpful It is perhaps most difficult to get over a person you have a child with because you cannot just not see them. But you can minimize contact and get creative with the ways you do the drop-offs. Not Helpful 42 Helpful Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Don't fall prey to the myth of "The One" — the idea that there is exactly one perfect person for you out there.

This is deeply unrealistic. There are many suitable people for everyone. None are perfect — all of them flawed in some way. The one that broke your heart isn't the only one out there for you. You will find that next one and perhaps the one after that and love them too.

Helpful 1 Not Helpful 0. Although "forgetting" your ex may sound like a good remedy for the pain, you don't necessarily want to forget everything you learned from the relationship. Whether you like it or not, the relationship is part of the fabric that makes you who you are today. Try to learn from what did and didn't work in your relationship so that your next one is an improvement. Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0.

If you just can't seem to start feeling better and it's been a month or so, you may have a case of depression. Talk to a doctor or therapist — there's nothing wrong with getting the help you need. Remember that if you truly love someone you would want to see them happy even if it wasn't with you.

That's what love is, their happiness matters the most. So you live your life and move on. Related wikiHows How to. How to. About This Article. Co-authored by:. Co-authors: Updated: October 27, Article Summary X If you want to forget the one you loved deeply, throw away things that remind you of them, such as gifts they gave you or possessions they left behind. Nederlands: Iemand loslaten waar je heel veel van hebt gehouden. Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 1,, times.

Reader Success Stories ismail khalid mangalathel Jun 10, More reader stories Hide reader stories. Did this article help you? Cookies make wikiHow better. You may have never really been taught this important fact: you need to make yourself your number one priority. A lot of people search for validation through the approval and love of other people. This can cause a significant amount of devastation if you are rejected by the person you love, no matter the reason. If you've never taken the time to focus on yourself, which is common, that's crucial for getting over your breakup in a healthy way.

Building up your capacity for self-love is not only how to move on from a relationship when you are still in love, but how you find happiness and peace within yourself.

If you and the person you love were dating for an extended period of time, this can leave you with a lot of free time once you're not together anymore. It's crucial that you don't spend this time sitting around and ruminating, which will only make you feel worse and is not how to move on from someone you love. If you have some hobbies that you haven't engaged in for a while, pick them up again.

Or if there are new activities that you've wanted to try, now is the time. Keeping your mind busy and your attention focused outward is an important part of how to get over a breakup when you still love them.

That doesn't mean avoiding your feelings altogether. You should certainly take time to grieve the loss. However, dwelling on your memories and what could have been will only hurt you in the long run. If your aim is to forget the person you were with as much as possible, then keeping your mind busy is the way to do it. You can also embark on a self-improvement plan or take on extra hours at work. The important thing is to do what works for you.

If you're struggling with feeling good about yourself or are experiencing symptoms of depression, such as persistently negative thoughts, loss of appetite, and a feeling of hopelessness, it's a good idea to reach out to a therapist. The longer that you allow these feelings to germinate, the more you'll suffer needlessly and be unable to move on. Whether it's from a short-term but intense relationship or a divorce after many years of marriage, having to get over someone you love can plunge you into a dark place.

Unfortunately, not everyone has a strong support network that they can reach out to, and even those that do often need additional support. If you're asking how to get over the love of your life, know that you're not alone. BetterHelp offers affordable online therapy from trained, licensed professional counselors that you can access no matter where you are or what your schedule. You may never totally forget about the person you love, but that's not a bad thing. Eventually, with time and healing, you'll be able to appreciate the good parts of the relationship without feeling pain.

The fact that you still remember the good times is a sign that you deeply loved them and that is still real even if it's no longer the case. Know that however dark things may seem now, it will not last forever. Therapy can help guide you through this process to get you to the other side faster. Source: rawpixel. Establish No-Contact for a While Nowadays, with social media and cell phones, we're all connected more than ever before.

Love Them from Afar "Only know you love her when you let her go. Lean On Your Support Network While you may have the tendency to isolate yourself, listening to sad songs and binging on Netflix, these can quickly lead to a cycle of depression and negative thinking.

Focus On Yourself Source: rawpixel. Yes, they know how to stay, both in your heart, mind, and soul. Indeed, memories cannot be erased, but you can still forget. But how do you such a thing? Here are 12 ways that will help you forget someone you love and heal the pain that comes from the past:. Indeed, it can be haunting to visit the places or do the activities that you and your former significant other used to do. Hence, you cannot just avoid them all the time because they remind you of the past.

Instead, revel in their wonders together with the people that matter to you the most. Visit those memorable destinations with your family and friends. Take pictures together, eat meals as a group, and enjoy all other activities as a team. Open your windows and take a good look outside.

The world moves on without you so you have to keep up with it! Another way to forget someone you love is by going out. Literally, wear your sneakers and start walking, even just around your neighborhood. You can only set yourself free by taking the initiative to do so. Start walking. Enjoy the sights, the traffic, the busy streets, and smile at the people you meet along the way.

The longer your mind gets preoccupied with these simple encounters, the farther you get away from those memories you have so been wanting to forget. Instead of hiding under a shell, allow yourself to be surprised, scared, and shocked. Your brain needs this as well, as the feeling of surprise allows it to generate new brain cells and reminds you that what Cher says is true: there is life after love.

People often write about the things they recall, so that they could keep them. Rather, talk about the things you remember. The more you discuss these recollections verbally, the lesser the details you mention, the lesser the emotions you feel, the lesser the weight you carry.

Do this until such time that you could no longer recall the diner where you had your first date or how it rained when you two broke up. Her advice is indeed helpful because while the memories are mental pictures stored in the brain, physical evidence such as pictures and videos only amplifies their effects and triggers our emotions. Thus, if you are keen on forgetting this person you love due to heartache, then it would be best to keep the visuals away for a while.

When the right time comes, you can go through these items again and no longer remember the feelings that made them special. Do a survey around your room and pick out every single thing that he gave you and throw it out.

Even the receipts of the first-ever movie that you saw together, take it out and chuck it down the bin! This is your first step on your journey to moving on. Praying is an effective means to calm yourself amidst this emotional journey of getting over the person you love. This is because through praying, you get the quiet time you deserve. You also get to whisper your qualms and wishes to God, and through his divine intervention, you are able to see life from a different perspective.

It is also through praying that you are able to thank love for stopping by even for just a short while. After throwing all his gifts in the trash, open your buzzing phone and finally read those messages from last week.

It may be tempting to keep those, but you will only hurt yourself further during the process. Pick your dusty paintbrushes, take up knitting, try out martial arts, or even take a Spanish class. Whatever you want to do, do it; this is your time to make yourself a better person than before.